The Secret Life of FMP Pets

May 13, 2020 in
By Dominic Jeter

In a world where working hard and playing hard have become one in the same, FMP employees have had to adapt to a less traditional working environment that includes telework 100% of the time. However, potentially the biggest change in our daily lives wasn’t just FMP employees adapting to working from home, but adapting to our new fury co-workers and their daily lives. Some of our new furry co-workers seem confused seeing mom or dad around the house at 11am and boundaries don’t exist when it comes to proper workplace behavior and untimely “feed me now” snack time moments.

None the less it wouldn’t be like FMP to not introduce our new vacationing co-workers and understand their thoughts and feelings during this unprecedented time. So, please let me introduce our 17 new ‘FMPers’ and the comedy that owners believe our furry coworkers are thinking. ENJOY!

The following interviews have been condensed for space.

1. Fenway Connelly

What do you think your pet is thinking seeing you so much? Thank goodness mother is now available to feed me 24/7. “Better always make sure to act like I’m starving …”

What is craziest thing your new co-worker has done since you have been home during the day? When I refused to give him an (unnecessary) afternoon snack, Fenway opened the pantry door and tried to nonchalantly carry an entire bag of freeze-dried raw cat food into his lair.

2. Stella Jones

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What do you think your pet is thinking seeing you so much? She is split – when SHE wants attention, she is thrilled. But when she wants to sleep, she can’t be bothered.

What is craziest thing your new co-worker has done since you have been home during the day? Gone chasing after bugs and yowling while I’m on a Teams call

Who seems to be snacking more now that you both work together? Stella for sure!

3. Philly Joachim

He is happy to have four family members home ALL THE TIME but feeling exhausted by the constant walks and attempts to get out of the house!

4. Casey Culman

Casey is saying. “You are in my space during my time of day, go back to work already.”

5. Blue Rapini

What do you think your pet is thinking seeing you so much? Looooove you! Why did you *ever* leave home (without me) anyhow?

What is craziest thing your new co-worker has done since you have been home during the day? Sleeping behind my chair sure keeps me at the desk.

What funny things are they doing to help you or distract you during the workday? Puppy dog eyes (as pictured). Not funny, but cute as h*ck! 

6. Pepe Garza/Wilcox

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What is craziest thing your new co-worker has done since you have been home during the day? He caught (another) squirrel! But don’t worry – he only wants to play, so no squirrels were harmed during this quarantine.

Who seems to be snacking more now that you both work together? Pepe is an equal member of our family, which entitles him to eat what and when we eat. His idea.

What funny things are they doing to help you or distract you during the work day? Entertain himself when we are busy working, Pepe has started sneaking into the bathroom and tearing up toilet paper (the only thing he can reach). This is especially alarming given that we are down to our last three rolls!

7. Mylo Gundermann

What is craziest thing your new co-worker has done since you have been home during the day? Tried to escape out an open third-story window to chase birds/bugs when I was trying to let fresh air in by my desk….

Who seems to be snacking more now that you both work together? Me

What funny things are they doing to help you or distract you during the work day? See above…. also chewing on pens when trying to write, swiping at wireless mouse, taking naps beside laptop, meowing during phone calls. Highly recommend searching “cat TV” on YouTube for kitty daycare (see picture)

8. Eugene Kilcarr

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Eugene stopped by to see what I’ve been up to…

9. Oslo “Ozzy” Ashby-King

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What do you think your pet is thinking seeing you so much? I hit the jackpot with this new home…. the people never leave!

What is craziest thing your new co-worker has done since you have been home during the day? Slept peacefully through conference calls, helicopters flying overhead, strong gusts of wind, and people mowing their lawns.

Who seems to be snacking more now that you both work together? We’re both guilty of snacking more 😊 Oslo’s snack of choice is Rachel Ray’s savory roasters and mom’s is pretzels and M&Ms.

What funny things are they doing to help you or distract you during the work day? Oslo gets the zoomies when we go outside for potty breaks and deviously avoids the crate by curling up in mom’s lap when we come back inside.

10 & 11. Henry and Midnight Flagg

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What do you think your pet is thinking seeing you so much? Henry is confused but loving the attention. Midnight is even more pleased because with us working from home now, Henry can’t get away with antagonizing her so she’s gaining confidence!

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Who seems to be snacking more now that you both work together?  Henry is eating us out of house and home. Then he pukes it up on the carpet.

What funny things are they doing to help you or distract you during the work day? Midnight has no qualms about laying RIGHT IN FRONT of my laptop for maximum warmth and snuggles, whereas Henry just stands next to me and yowls in my face when he wants attention. If the food bowl is empty, Midnight starts knocking things off our desks onto the floor.

12. Raja Waymouth

What is craziest thing your new co-worker has done since you have been home during the day? Raja is very fond of biting my ears, toes, nose, beard, and laptop cords. Not distracting at all…

Who seems to be snacking more now that you both work together? Raja most definitely. She eats everything in sight while I pray for the ever-elusive grocery delivery window.

What funny things are they doing to help you or distract you during the work day? Well, she just pooped on the floor. So that works to distract me well.

Who’s the more productive co-worker? Scouts Honor Moment!! Depends on your definition of productive. I win as far as developing charts, PPTs, and emails, but Raja is the productivity champion in chewing on random objects in the house.

13 & 14 & 15. Oxford, Sisi, Villanelle Nydick

3 wonderful pets: Oxford the husky/malamute, Sisi the shih-Tzu/Maltese, and Villanelle (Villa) the cat

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What do you think your pet is thinking seeing you so much?

I think my dogs are psyched to be getting so much attention, while the cat wishes we would leave her alone.

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What is craziest thing your new co-worker has done since you have been home during the day?

The cat has taken to jumping on my desk and knocking everything onto the floor. Sisi has claimed one of the office chairs as her own, and Oxford mostly hangs out on the patio enjoying the cool breeze.

Who’s the more productive co-worker? Scouts Honor Moment!! Obviously, Oxford! Look at him typing away!

16. Bramble Milloy

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Who seems to be snacking more now that you both work together? Bramble, definitely Bramble. Just like other parents, I’m basically bribing him for good behavior and patience with treats. He gets both a morning and afternoon snack and I only get an evening glass of wine as a treat. So, I’d say this WFH situation is playing in his favor in that regard.

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What funny things are they doing to help you or distract you during the work day? He will spontaneously chase his tail in the middle of our office. He’s always done it, but I didn’t realize how often during the day he does this. That said, it makes him happy and it generally occurs off camera, so we’re both fine with it!

17. Furry Yentes

What do you think your pet is thinking seeing you so much? Even in my last role I worked from home a lot, so she’s pretty used to having me around. She’s more concerned about what the squirrels are up to. Very suspicious.

What is craziest thing your new co-worker has done since you have been home during the day? Salia is a fairly reserved cat. Outside of the occasional zoomies she doesn’t really get up to any mischief.

Who seems to be snacking more now that you both work together? Definitely me.

What funny things are they doing to help you or distract you during the work day? Whenever I hop on a call she likes to wander up on the desk and get in the frame. But only when I’m on a call.

Honorable Mention: Spiros Sahili

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In conclusion, our furry new co-workers have been doing the best they can adjusting to us invading their space, but they know nothing is better than having Mom and Dad around as much as they want. Unlimited food, snacks, love and belly rubs galore.